Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
