Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
