So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
