We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
