His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
People in love make me want to vomit
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
