Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
