so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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