we're chasing vodka with high fives
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
