Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
