Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
