he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
