Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
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Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
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Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me