do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
