Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.