Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?