she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
