if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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