Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
