All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
