Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize