i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize