You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I need to sanitize my soul.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
