I wish i was in the wii world.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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