The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
