just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
