I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
