So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
