U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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