your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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