dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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