you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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