ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize