I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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