I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
