We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
