she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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