if only i could text you this smell
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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