All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize