I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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