The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I fill condoms, not promises.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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