Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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