from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
