yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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