sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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