Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
