I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
