Define "chronic" masturbator.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
