i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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