I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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