Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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