She said her name was "party"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize