we're blogging at a bar
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
