Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
