What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
