I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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