I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
