So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the day after is always just damage control
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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