ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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