I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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