He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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