How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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