don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
