Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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