Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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