i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Randomize
