Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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