I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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